Wednesday 21 June 2017

Biscuitocracy


"Can you see me?" asks the 5 Year Old from somewhere behind me in my blindspot.

"I cannot," I confess.

"Shush!" she reprimands. "In this game, you cannot talk, you see?"

I nod my head, for in this game, I cannot... well, you get the picture.

"No, Daddy, answer with your mouth shut, like this!" She folds her lips under her teeth and continues to 'talk' in an exaggerated "mmm mmmm mmm."

Always happy to oblige, I follow suit.

"Now open your mouth and shout 'Ow,' Daddy," I am instructed.

"Ow," I say dutifully, then, "what for?"

"Because I am eating you, nom nom nom." Oh.

"What are you eating me for?" I enquire.

"You LOOK like a biscuit, you SMELL like a biscuit, you FEEL like a biscuit and you TASTE like a biscuit!"

"Goodness, what SORT of biscuit?"

"A chocolate chip cookie," she declares, "and I have eaten you all up. So now I'm the Queen!"

"Pardon?"

"Whoever eats something first gets to be the Queen. Especially if it is strawberry cake!"

"Are you sure that's how they choose the Queen?" I ask. "Surely new people eat something first all the time, wouldn't the Queen have to keep changing??"

"No, silly," she scoffs. "THOSE people get to be princes and princesses."

Ah yes. Of course.